Most of the time I am writing in the form of an 'interior monologue' or Stream-of-consciousness. It is in my logbook and diary, I do keep a yearly diary, one book per year. In which I prefer to convey my thought processes while reminiscing a particular incident.
I think what I see in my own view, yet in your point of view it might be said differently. We might get mutual understanding if you're persuaded to realize a common theme is happening for instance this written word. It is my way of conveying my understanding of reality to you, the reader. Do I reach the target of making you understand? I am not concerned upon it because most might skip reading this because reading this might be a waste of time for them. If you are willing, please continue reading this then its up to you, I am very democratic about it.
First, I would like to try my best to avoid the association of my perspective with absolute truth and reality. It mustn't be as such because it came out from my own mind which the source might be inspired from memory or instantaneous miracle. That previous statement was just my perception of what I am trying to convey for the time being.
I have personal concern like pain, but I realize that pain is just a mind game. Even a broken heart, I view it as not so different to an empty stomach. It all came to down to the component of the mind and emotion.
Most of the time we are beaten down by emotion. The mind just submit and creates all of this fairytale just to agree with emotion.
Since the mind so concern with logic and emotion concern with other's opinion, it will find facts which widely acceptable to compliment the low emotion so the guilt can be minimized. Usually, it requires us to demonize someone or something as the supreme evil which causes our bad emotion. Why a bad emotion? We just don't understand it.
So try to sit, not judge and wait. God will come out with an answer.
Yes, I am just jumbling it all apart, but I believe there's something good in this. Everyone have a decoder or compiler in their mind. Life is a mind game and the world worth nothing at all.